After a very negative run-in with Comcast’s repair service (they cancelled my appointment after I didn’t answer a phone call listed as “Private Caller” that they didn’t tell me to expect to a different phone number than the one I had given them), I figured it was worth checking out what Verizon is offering these days.

Sadly, I do not live in an area that offers FiOS, but as I was checking out their DSL speeds, I noticed a “Regional Value” option that I could add.

It wasn’t immediately obvious what “Regional Value” referred to, but right then a window popped up asking if I would like to do a “Live Chat” to discuss their plans.

Live chat services have always intrigued me.  How can a company keep enough people on hand to respond to live chats, without either having long delays to respond if no one is available or lots of people sitting around waiting for a chat?  It doesn’t seem plausible. 

Curious, I decided to give it a shot.  I accepted the chat and asked “What is “Regional Value”?

After a moment, “Megan” responded, saying:

Megan(11:52:54): I will be happy to assist you with our plans.  Just one moment please while I check on that for you.

Megan (11:53:44) Unfortunately, I am not able to access information regarding that plan from my end.  I would recommend contact customer care regarding that plan.  I apologize for the inconvenience.

There was no request for any clarifying information, so I am guessing that this an automated system that tried to run a search, didn’t find a hit, and sent back an automated response.  It then helpfully provided me with the phone number to call:

Megan (11:53:50): You may please call Local Verizon Business Office at 1-800 VERIZON (1-800-837-4966) between 8:00 AM and 6:00 PM EST from Monday to Friday.

In case I might have been in doubt about whether “Megan” is a real person, a few minutes later she said,

Megan (11:56:35): I have not heard from you in a few moments.  Would you like to continue this chat session?

Um, didn’t you just tell me to call customer service?